Of course they're depressed

48% of women in the U.S. are on some sort of anti-depressant.

I believe it and why not - after all - it is a male dominated society, the glass ceiling, raising kids, working, the menstrual cycle that's stuck on repeat like a bad Journey song on your ipod, men...of course you're taking meds. I'm on meds and I don't have half these problems.

But I discovered one thing out of all these that is the sole reason for such wringing of hands, gnashing of teeth, and chugging the White Zinfandel:

The Lifetime Channel.

It should be called the "Kevorkian Channel" because after a few minutes of viewing, I was Googling the good Doctor hoping for a house call.

Lifetime Channel's tagline is, "TV for Women".

I came up with a few that were more in-line with the brand of the Channel:

Lifetime Channel. When suicide fails.

Lifetime Channel. My relationship is shitty anyways.

Lifetime Channel. When you have nothing else to live for.

Lifetime Channel. Watch the channel and you can quit your birth control.

Holy crap - no wonder women are so depressed - the movie listings are a therapists dream:

The stranger who came to the door.

Why does everyone want to kill me?

There's a man hiding in the backseat of my car.

Even my dog hates me.

This could be love. But probably isn't.

My elderly mother. My anchor.

And this is before prime time. In prime time it gets worse. There are a variety of shows that feature death, stress, agony, betrayal, fear, anxiety.

This Channel's shows are like a drug - the more you watch the more you want - and before you know it, you're so depressed - you're popping Paxil like gummy bears and no amount of Cymbalta will help boost your happy happy - my God, after one hour of viewing I was ready to take a short drive in the garage with the door closed and a hose running from the exhaust into the car.

Take Grey's Anatomy. Holy bejezzus.

Yeh, very clever, Dr. Gray wrote the book on anatomy, "Grey" as in the color - life is grey - dissecting life - I fricken get it - but that doesn't mean you have to film it.

There's a lot of things wrong with this show:

The show: Hot doctors

Real life: Cold hands

The show: Everyone is having sex with each other

Real life: Sexual harassment suit

The show: Drinking on call

Real life: Revoking of your license

The show: People die

Real life: People die

(They got that one correct)

The show is a psychological train wreck - wrought with death, stress, agony, betrayal, fear, anxiety - mmm, looks like the programmers at Lifetime are on to something - and enough sex to get a corpse all hot and bothered - but by the time the writers run women through the emotional meat grinder they are so emotionally drained they can't function and it's "hold me, just hold me, just, hold me for God's sakes!" Which means the only people getting laid are the ones on the show.

And this is only one show - there are a whole list of shows just like this - as brutally emotional being shown 2-4-H-O-U-R-S-A-D-A-Y. Of course 48% of women are on meds!

Dear Lifetime Channel, I beg of you... please start mixing in some "Silver Spoons", "Three's Company", or any other inane sitcom - so that men would like to start having sex again.

Thank you.