No, you start it!

I can start a fire

I can start an argument

I can start a conga line. I never would, but I could

But for the life of me I couldn't start this on Saturday:

Had to cut my grass - but we do not own a lawn mower - so I went across the street and asked the  neighbor, who happens to be a man's man, if I could borrow his.

He agreed - brought it over - and left to go to work.

Now, my challenges of maledom and the things they are supposed to be able to do are well documented, but never did I think I wouldn't be able to start it.

Nothing - not one thing I did made it start. So instead of making an ass out of myself out in the front of the house - I wheeled into the backyard and did the most natural thing any red-blooded male would do: I went for a bike ride.

It was late in the afternoon when the neighbor returned and when he pulled up he looked at my unkept, uncut lawn and gave me a look like, "What the?"

I sheepishly explained to him that I couldn't get the mower to start. (I made up this excuse like, "I think I over primed it." I heard that one time, thought it would worked - it didn't.) I'm telling you - he gave me such an incredulous look like, "What a nancy boy..."

He walked up to the mower and with one pull it started. He was about to go ahed and starting working on the lawn himself - but no one cuts my lawn buster!

I was proud of myself that I was able to get the grass catcher bag thingy off without injuring myself - so I had that going for me.

Guess this gives new meaning, "No, you start it." "No, you start it." "I'm not gonna start it you start it."

OK, if you insist - go ahead - start it - but I'm gonna finish it!