You got the making down - now let's work on the pouring.

You're looking at the Black and Decker DCM2000B Coffee maker.

Here's the description: Designed for extracting the rich flavor of coffee, the wide spread showerhead saturates coffee grounds evenly while an eclosed brewing system ensures a superior brewing process. Sneak-A-Cup interrupt feature

Sounds pretty good, right? And the description, while well-written, leaves out an important point: It spills when it pours.

All over the place. In fact, people at my office have to walk to the sink and pour their cup over it in order not to get it on the carpet - and no matter how slowly you pour it, how quickly you pour it, if you do the ol' Mel's Diner waitress pour - you know, you put the pot shoulder high and let it flow into the cup - it spills.

Obviously, this was made for construction people and the like - because when it comes down to it - those people don't really give a crap if they're spilling coffee on a construction site or in the living room on the expensive carpet in the home they're remodeling - but in the office - deal breaker.

Now, Black and Decker makes some really great products, I hear, (I haven't actually used one), and I pulled some together for you:

"Jaws of Life" Jr.

"The Storm Station" - for the men who want to watch the big game
 - they can make it hail, I suppose

Even I know what this is - it's a hole drillerer

This is what a trip to the emergency room for me looks like

All great products, I guess, but these are instruments of destruction - designed to bore, cut and tear and rescue an infant out of a burning toy push car, but when it comes to making a coffee pot that doesn't spill like a low-level gangster gone state's evidence - not so good.

So thank you, Black and Decker, thank you for giving men, woman, DIY'ers and lesbians the tools they need to do the work I will hire them for - but while they're sweating in the midday sun, cutting, boring, ripping, or saving little Johnny from his Playskool push car with The Jaws of Life Jr., I will be pouring a nice cup of coffee from my Euro-made coffee pot. Grazia.