Walt Misery

If I was Walt Disney, I would be so pissed, so heated up - I'd melt the icy cryogenic grave I was in.

Here's the headline: Disney narrows its movie focus, building on known characters. (As DVD sales fall and small comedies flop, entertainment giant sticks with known characters.)

What? Did they run out of psychedelic drugs in the creative department over at Disney?

The article goes on to say that Disney is going to keep its core characters like the Muppets, Snow White, and now, 'Alice', and do movie after movie about them - then - promote them throughout their parks.

But I'm not so sure, I think they're being a little hasty with this decision - I mean, there have been some winners in the past couple of years, let's look shall we?

C'mon, who can't get enough of
Brendan Fraser in a loin cloth

What? The random dinosaur
didn't put this over the top?

Let's take every annoying Disney actor in our stable and
put them into an even more annoying movie! 

Who doesn't love a movie with dogs

Or a movie with dogs in space

Or a movie with Hispanic dogs

Or a movie with dogs in the title

The "Magic Gourd"? They must have
been out of their gourd

OK, maybe they haven't been making some good decisions over there, (thank you rehab), but now, we, and when I say we, I mean the lovers of animated films are going to be stuck with redos, remakes, and rehashes.

I put a little list together to help them get started:

Aladdin 4: West Hollywood here we come

The Little Mermaid: Risky Fishness

Beauty and the Beast: Big Beast in Little China

Alice 2: This time it's personal

Mickey: The incontinent years

I'm going miss Disney animated films. But then again, I can't wait for Pirates of the Caribbean 7: Jack's back and in rehab.